This page is made for those who are, or have been, in a close relationship with a narcissist.
It is my aim to share the knowledge and practical 'tools' that I have learnt, in order to empower you and help you to trust in yourself again.
I have lived under the influence of a narcissist for decades and I know how damaging this type of emotional abuse is. Through my own therapeutic process, I discovered that very few therapists understand what narcissism is and what how being close to a narcissist for a prolonged period of time, can affect you. It is my hope to get the opportunity to help others who have been through similar situations.
Narcissism can be difficult to spot - even for psychologists and therapists. This is not a subject to be taught at the various mental health educational institutions – at least not in Denmark. Hence, if you come across a therapist that does not understand how this type of relationship affects the non-narcissist, they may not truly understand how it affects you and your self esteem. You may be encouraged to ‘think more positively’ and to become better at 'compromising' and 'forgiving' but even though this can be very helpful with a sane partner, this type of advice does not apply when you are in a relationship with a narcissist.
This type of approach is a bit like saying to a victim of domestic violence to ‘just become better at being beaten’. Of course not! I strongly recommend that you distance yourself as much as possible from people who lie, manipulate, gaslight or treat you in other demeaning ways. Work towards getting better at removing yourself from this type of abuse, whether it is by physical distance or, if this is not possible, emotional distance (see more on this in my Grey Rock blog). I fully understand that physical distance may not be an option, or that you still love your narcissist too much to move on, but I would urge you to at least become informed about what narcissism is. Knowledge is power.
I believe that learning about narcissism and how it affects you, is ultimately empowering. If you want to overcome the many emotional scars that you have been given, it is imperative that you know what you are dealing with.
Understanding narcissism and the many ways they negatively affect the people close to them, is important if you want to keep yourself safe. I have spent a great deal of my life and energy learning how to understand what narcissism is, how it affects you and how a victim of this type of emotional abuse, can protect her or himself and gain a new life with healthy relationships.
Once you understand about narcissism and toxic relationships, you become much better equipped to choose a good partner, remove yourself from toxic relationships – and if that is not possible- at least to have the tools to protect yourself and those you love. Once you know what to pay attention to, you can move on and create a better life, with healthier and stronger relationships. Life can get better. In spite of it all.